Warning. The following article drips with sarcasm. This is a farcical promotion that is meant to be humorous and genuine at heart. But sometimes the truth hurts.
SM Entertainment is calling for your attention!
Ladies and Gents, or better yet little boys and girls, we have an announcement to make!! (The younger the better! Easier to mould you – and your face sometimes!)
You can make all your dreams come true by coming to the SM auditions!
Do you have substantial talent? Or better yet a thirst for FAME?
We don’t care about your driving power, as long as we get the moolah!
Looks? Who needs them, we got a guy in China with a sharp blade to get them for you!
Talent? Who needs it, we have some higher-ups in the media business to make sure you get air-time no matter how good or bad you are!
Do you….
1. Want to be physically beaten to perfection?
2. Want to be cast aside and when you achieve something on your own, have US take all the credit?
3. Want to go through inundating images on your debut, sell more albums yet not get the better awards?
4. Want to have your childhood stolen from you and be dumped in another country without a choice? And of course, only to return to your home country at your Company’s benefit and monetary gain?
5. Want to be shunned when you leave the country for personal business, only to come back and find yourself unemployed, replaced and working late hours on a D-rate cable program?
6. Want to be recycled from a previously failed solo/duo attempt? And then be ignored although you have talent?
7. Want to be taken from the height of your fame and dropped in a foreign land without notice? Performing in arenas of 50,000 to an uninterested 50? Depression comes as a free add-on.
8. Want to form a close bond with some friends who share the same dream? And when you do… be sure to appreciate us for splitting you up and sending you to at least 50 locations daily! Who needs sleep and companionship? Also, another superb deal, lets not regard your personal safety, resulting in a high probability of injuries and life threatening accidents!
9. Would you like to be hated by the world? And be subjected to crowds who despise you against your will? Come on, what’s the harm in being humiliated over and over again?
10. Want your raw talent at a young age exploited?
11. Want to be mentally and physically abused from a young age? Not to mention having your spirit and soul sucked out of you?
12. Want to work hard throughout your entire career and only be paid peanuts? But then have another group come along and enjoy the fruits of your labour, however deserving or undeserving?
13. Want your fans who love and truly adore you to be completely disregarded, used, exploited and cast aside.. Just for your companies benefit?!
14. Want to endure absolutely humiliating acts, commercials and music videos for your company’s amusement and bank account?
15. Want to go years without a break?
16. Want to be worked to the bone, not be fed and eventually be sent to the hospital without anyone knowing…Unless of course. those pesky fans expose your trips to the hospital….
17. Would you like to get regular doses of Ringer’s solution at the hospital before you perform so you won’t collapse on stage due to sleep deprivation, anxiety and lack of nutrition?
18. Want to be snapped up by us and be promised a great future, while instead we throw you to the side and only bring you out twice a year?
19. Want to be forgotten just because we have no time for you?
20. Want to be recycled repeatedly in different project groups until you’re saved by your Mandatory Duty in the Army? Oh dear, South Korean Men. (That’s why we prefer foreigners, we got the Broadcasting station’s limitations removed just for you! With our “clean” connections of course.)
21. Want to unknowingly sign your soul away to the Devil? That innocent look on your face won’t be there for long!
22. Want to be seen as an object and not a human being?
Well then, you are in luck my tiny young friends, because this is right up your alley!
SM GLOBAL AUDITIONS are coming your way in the US and Canada….
Click here for their official promoters…
They were kind enough to contact us and help us do the job they get paid for! HURRAH! everybody wins!!
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Seriously though, we do not agree or promote SLAVERY, especially in this age of liberal democracy. Not until SM Entertainment truly shapes up and respects their artists – truly caring for them as individuals and human beings – will we support them.
We do not want to be associated with SM Ent. nor do we want to do their dirty work. Please Child Labour (!) is so last century~
We do not agree with SM Entertainment and their ways, though credit must be given where credit is due. Their artists (a few of them) have done notable work and have made remarkable achievements that deserve kudos. We know and understand that one needs to appreciate the maker, so thank you to all mothers and fathers that brought forth the SM artists into this world. And God, of course, depending on what you believe in.
Here’s a list of “lucky” stars from SM that made it onto this post – conglomeration of post- , disbanded -, MIA -, and active SM artists. If you’re curious as to what the numbers refer to, they correspond to the various points made above. See if you matched them correctly.
1. H.O.T
2. Shinhwa
3. SES
4. BoA
5. Isak from Isak N Jiyeon
6. CSJH The Grace
7. DBSK
8. Super Junior – T – KRY – M – H – L – N – C – K – O – ETC even some korean characters if you like.
9. SNSD
10. SHINee
18. Ayumi Lee
19. Trax
20. KangTa
The rest refer to several, if not nearly all of SM artists, except a few sour ones, i.e. SNSD.
Please, if you have a dream, go after it. But don’t throw away your integrity in the process. Stand in the spotlight in a way that you are appreciated and respected. The very idols you want to become are suffering every day. Do not subject yourself to the same mental and physical strain or succumb to capitalized torture.
I’m sure your idols wouldn’t want the same for you.
So best of luck in your endeavor to reach that elusive light known as stardom.
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Sources:Google, Wikipedia, AsianFanatics
With love from the SYP staff
You are forgetting one little factor. Perfection or nothing is part of Asian Culture. I don’t want to say this, but it’s true. If you are not the best you are nothing. People choose SM because they want it bad. People understand what they are getting into, if you want it that bad you will do anything for it.
Some are blinded by their love for the companies biggest groups or singers. You just want to be apart the company because of them. Blind love can make you do that.
SM might do it as you have described, but that is them. You have to take into account the culture,company executives, & music trends. If Soith Korea is going to spread, including Asia, certain ‘preferences’ need to change.
To all the audition, good luck. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do. You are the only one who knows what lays in you.
Awesome sarcasm. Needed a laugh.