Eat my own liver…

Wear a Beehive as a hat…

Pop my eardrums with a toothpick…

…Than watch Jessica of SNSD do a LIVE Musical.

Jessica and Kim DongWook will be “starring”

Never was there a more random piece of News, one of the main singers of SNSD and one of the worst singers in Kpop, Jessica, who is well known for her “Sica Effect” is doing a Musical? ( The “Sica effect” is pretty much the effect of hearing her nasally annoying voice and as a result getting sick and going WTF?! How fitting).

I mean this is the chick that got upstaged by a Backup dancer, when she performed “NaengMyeon” with Park MyungSoo for the Infinity Challenge special CD performance. This is the girl that her “acting” portfolio consists of “cameo” appearances where other SM talents are doing barely-there supporting roles. This is the girl that only has two facial expressions, pissed off and freaky creepy “Nightmare before Christmas” grin.

If Yoona, aka emotionless cardboard cutout, or “inferius” as ShaBANG likes to call her (wiki it), is their so called “best actress”, then what on Gods Earth is the SICA gonna be? Speaking of HP, Lee SooMan should report to Harry Potter, he’s been a very bad Dark Lord.

Alien Flu has in fact already been spread, not by MiMi as we previously suspected, but by Lee SooMan in his lairs in KangNam overlooking the city for his next victims. By using an expensive Private Investigator we’ve discovered that he spreads it by post, in the form of a talcum powder like substance.  That substance, once entered through the nose allows little aliens controlled by SM to take over and control your body and mind. Victims are mainly Casting Directors or Investors. Poor sods, I mean…

WHAT INVESTOR/CASTING DIRECTOR WOULD LET THAT TALENTLESS SKELETON STAR IN THEIR MUSICAL!?

It’s not like she has singing talent to begin with, it’s meant to have a lot of high notes and we all know she can’t hit them, and lip synching doesn’t help much cos she has the power to make the sound system skip with her evil glares.

And that’s performing one song, imagine an entire Musical.

Oh, what Musical you ask? Legally Blonde apparently… O_O

Shocks you, like a bullet to the brain, doesn’t it?

Any more information? I wouldn’t have any more, the idea of Jessica in a Musical is nonsensical enough as is, if you want more info do your own research or head on to “news sites”.

I guess this is a good thing too… Getting revenge in Korea has never been this easy. Buy a ticket and hand it over in an envelope with directions to all your enemies. Simple, 2 hours of visual and auditory torture and it’s completely legal.

Did I not wake up from sleep today?

Apparently SM churns out the groups like they do bad excuses. Easily and out of nowhere.

^^Damn Krsytal, that is some beak. No wonder they gave you a mask for Juliette.

Words cannot fully describe what I thought of this video teaser… I was mostly thinking “WTF I’m on Krystal meth” (geddit?), and even if I was high why would I imagine an intro that sounds like another porn teaser (cough SNSDs Genie cough). SM seriously listen to some real music for once, watching porn does not constitute as “research”.

Watch it if you wanna go O_________O Youtube link here

Then there’s the opening where it looks like G-Dragon made a cameo as a pimp surrounded by his Hoes. Classy!! I’m guessing you were inspired by Jewelry’s latest irony theme. Then the music starts and on comes that bad dancing, one forward flip and a dark street in front of a theatre (which I’m guessing is their workplace).

“Hey there soldier!”

I’m lost, really, cos I figured I would give SM some credit, and since they have NOONE PROMOTING right now, so they’re pretty much free (besides their legal department), they would make this something decent.

And um… two of them are 15, one is 15 and the others still 14?! Surely the whole prostitution theme is a little bit inappropriate…And plus, SNSD already have those grounds covered (Tell THEM your wish, not the minors).

I may be overreacting but whatever, a company like SM with their experience with the market and large production staff and marketing team should have made a better job with this.   Rather than make a member pretty much look and sound like a confused hermaphrodite surrounded by leather clad ladies. And the dancing is so much of a SHINee rip off, recycling, nice. While SHINee can dance these girls can…. do what exactly? Lacha tata?

Even though the first impression was a disaster, I’m still going to give these girls a chance. Ahh right their called f(x) (에프엑스), as in fox or fix or whatever it’s hard to care with that monstrosity of a teaser debut.

For those who do care, Victoria Song (1987):

She seems like the oldest, she has experience in both China and Korea as a CF model and featured in Super Junior Ms “U” and SHINees debut song “Noona is so Pretty”. And this Chinese lass is quite the pretty one.

Krystal Jung (1994):

The one that’s pretty much has a lot of the spotlight right now, SNSDs Jessicas little sister. Also known as the “pretty one”, and the “scandal-less one” in the Jung Family.  No matter what, I see her as quite plain and the only thing that sticks out to me is her nose… It looks like it can poke someones eye out, sister should be careful when she’s dancing, or flailing her arms and legs wildly like they do in the teaser.

Sulli (1994):

For the Child actress member, it’s quite interesting to see only this picture being spread around for the time being, expect to see more soon. But I can’t help but think of a sentence in an English Drama I once watched, “Oh dear I think he just sullied his pants”… :/ I may just think of that every time I see her now…

And the other two are oh so mysterious… Amber and Luna…

^^ is that SHINees MinHo at the top left?

Asia Pop Dance Group!

AHAHAHAH, getting far too ahead of yourselves darlings! A Chinese member or two doesn’t make you that well rounded, and to be a dance group I have to, at least, be impressed by their dance abilities.

I. am. so. sick. and. tired. of. girl. groups. WHY!?

But does this mean they’re going to ship SNSD somewhere else?  I vote China.  LOL.

OHAHAHAHHAHAAAH!
So much for originality of your favorite song of 2009!

^ This song was released 3 months ago! OUTCH!

Let’s compare this with the performance which at the end Tiffany’s ass said hello to the porn sites AGAIN! Check it towards the end around 3:09! She apparently doesn’t even sing live these days (lost her voice is what soshitfans claim) No wonder she is looking for business somewhere else!

Now feel free to defend them till you drop!
For the heads up this is their defends mostly:

SM bought the song on Feb from Universal Music Publishing Group and this Uzbak chic stole it from them and went ahead releasing it!

^ Major LOLS! It’s like SM’s first time finding second handed songs for his artists! Now go a head Soshit fans and make a fool out of ourself in front of Dineyra and her fans! Seriously its such a shame these days to call ourself “even” interested in KPOP!

P.S. There is another round of war that Jessica (as SM loves to calls her JASSICA) caused this time … So apparently JASSICA pushed the youngest member of the group Seohyun telling her “GO AWAY” during a performance on the stage … Soshit fans’ defend is a total laugh

They were being mean because they were planning a surprise party for her!

with a plagiarized song and a trashy MV not to mention the horrid dance steps that most of them can’t even pull it through! Well, one member the MOST!

Tiffany

Jessica

Sunny

Everyone!


^ Credit to anti @ STAND

AND THAT’S THE OFFICIAL MV WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!
Future looks bright Plastic Generation!

People seems to be catching up on what we were talking about when we said we didn’t like this Tardfanny number the most!

Not that all this time she was not the “only” one almost always with the shortest length of skirt …

and God forbid wouldn’t act in ANY WAY to stand out of the group for the fear of “unwanted” attention which includes her always “ON” dance moves with the rest …

^ check her out on the right left!

or her awesome attitude!!!
Some of her selfless heart-beating moments toward little kids are at 0:27, 1:34, 1:51

She now was seen to be looked down by the Lizard face for not apparently wearing either the underwear or the safety shorts on their comeback stage!

This is when the Lizard face is even younger than her but yet knows better that their image was tainted since the day one by Tardafanny’s panty flashing!

It’s not a surprise that out of all 7 other girls
the Lizard face only goes to Tardfanny!

But what does Tardfanny do in return? Flip her “FAKE” hair and goes about her way smiling while pulling her skirt and panty (incase she had woren it in the first place) more more up! Creating more of this ….

^ That’s Tardfanny on their comeback stage on SBS Inkigayo, June 28th

Hoping to appear on yet another round of porn sites for something like this!

This girl is either really clinically vacant in the head or turning horny-desperate by hour which in both ways fits well with their concept! For more clarity have a listen at this spanking new song of their recent album!

To be honest, we had not seen this coming
screaming out loud in ENGLISH???
announcing desperately being so ready?!
begging someone do her/them a favor …
OF GIVING IT TO HER/THEM?
Not that we expected anything more of this group to begin with but …
WOW, this one piece was just way too classy!

On the side note:

SM seems to be given up on them ..
They don’t even bother to remember their names right .. JASSICA!

And someone give their stylist an award ..
awesome choice of shoes!

^ Have a look at Tardfanny’s legs, attention whore!

Individual pictures(http://bbs1.tv.media.daum.net/gaia/do/talk/star_photo/read?bbsId=A000010&articleId=306171)

Just when the industry is getting busy with all sorts of girl groups .. our desperate bunch had to think of a way to stay in the game! Just like we predicted they left their pants ones again at their dorm and are getting ready with their new slogan “TELL ME YOUR WISH” with the Genie concept!

*CLAPPING*

What a great teaser ..
just a wrap up of all that we knew they are about:
Sucking, licking, BLOW (job?), in the ass and etc … they have got it all!

Disgusting isn’t it?
It’s such a shame they drag the name of GIRLS with themselves!
Great representation of KOREAN GIRLS! they call themselves?
Is the new generation of KOREAN GIRLS really about what these bunch promote?

Update!

I never thought they could be this stupid! READ MORE!
further, elements of Nazi germany was found!!
Album released pushed back!

What kinda person would let people “make” her wear short shorts and film her in such ways to focus on her crotch in a way that all you see is camel toe at the end!? *barf* One word for the MV … TRASHY!

and someone still doesn’t how to dance! Kick her out already!

Their Comeback performance was even worse!
Funny thing is that instead of their perverted fans …
They are the ones out of breath! Very unstable and shaky!

^ SM’s Niece Sunny saying bye!

SNSD’s reality TV show Horror Movie Factory on MBC will be cancelled with the last episode airing on 14th! From the first episode hitting bellow 3% it was a given, these days the rating is about 5%!

This shows how the “Gee” craze was all self made and how they are not wanted by public! We will look forward to more cancelled shows in the future!

Was this the third time that the show that had them got cancelled? I know “KKko Kko Travel Agency” was cancelled the same way, there was one other show there too. Maybe SNSD fans can help!

So, get ready for the members doing their own color, cut and style from now on!

For the new CF on HAHA campaign, organizer didn’t even give them lunch after 10 hours of work! Apparently they couldn’t afford buying themselves lunch either!

New findings …
Thanks to the MBC Music Core we finally realized why this one number never got down any dance move! Dear friends it’s cuz of her crossed eyes?

Basically every move she made in half a second routine was out of synch! Unbelievable, for those of you who want to debut in SM, it shouldn’t be that hard to make it with this company after all, when they allow a cripple like this in, i am sure they make you an over night super star!

Someone shave those eyebrows please *barf*

I thought this was absolutely ridiculous!

^ Ajumma’s face, PRICELESS!

The Lizard Face is on a new project called “Cinderella Man” an upcoming drama with Kwon Sang Woo as her love interest? and we are making sure not to watch it!

As we all know, playing a lover of a 40+ male was the marketing scheme of SNSD stated by LSM himself. When he says something he means it, we like at least this one thing about the guy!

With financial crisis slapping the industry left and right it’s nice to the eye to see that they are even saving on touching up the roots of Lizard Face! *Barf*

Yaah, LIZZY! we love to see this picture and your styling tip advice in YOUR STYLE BOOK! You are a fashion trend setter according to your agencies after all! pfffffff!

Speaking of hair ..
We have a hard time to figure out …
Who has got the better hair!
Kim Huyng Joong VS. His Thai fan?

It’s nice to know in the event that he goes bald someday …
there is this fan number that could help out with hair donation!

we would like to thank whoever got a hold of the spell book and took care of the business for us!

Dildofatty has apparently fallen off the stairs in the Beaksang award ceremony (the lovely parts is that no one even noticed) and the bright child that she is she managed to injure herself up or this is what they say! You know it takes intelligence to take care of your own body, given her brain cell count this was pretty much given!

Now, one falls and no one notice .. then like an always embaressment to the group decides to show off her ass (thanking the heaven for the cast that the pants won’t go up so here comes a one inch skirt) on the lonely corner singing to her one line! We never thought SNSD’s performance could be this soothing to the eye!

The other one falls and warms people’s hearts <3
makes everyone smile, packs up even more fans ~~~~~
and turns out even more adorable and loving!